Thoughts and ponderings (raw and unedited)

I am perplexed these days at the emotions I am feeling in my heart. I am excited to become a father soon, yet I am concerned about the world I am bringing my son into that seems to be ever changing and becoming more and more evil as the days pass.

One Question that comes across my mind is, what will I do for my son's school? I don't trust the government to educate my son, especially now in light of hearing about CSCOPE.

Another question I ask is, what is the most important thing that I can teach my son. I want him to be godly. I want him to be a leader. I want to show him God's unconditional love. I want for him to have the love for the outdoors that I have. I want for him to have his own mind and speak freely but understand why things are done, not just do them because he is told. I want him to know that our home is a safe place and that mom and dads arms, ears, eyes, and hearts are always open to him no matter what may happen, he is and always will be our son.

I want him to be a beacon of God's love and life in this dark world.

I am saddened when I realize that he will not have the same opportunity as I did growing up with my brother living on four acres of land enjoying being outside in the woods every day after school. I also long for him to be able to go to my Grandpa Taylor's home and learn to drive on go karts and tractors but realize that too will not happen.

I know that he will have different opportunities and advantages than I had and he will not know the difference but I do know that those things are a part of who I am today.

I am not saddened by the fact that the world today is more evil than the world in which I knew as a boy. I am rather challenged by this fact to raise a godly man who can adapt to his environment and like the apostle Paul, be content in whatever situation he may find himself.

My belief is that if we (Rachel and I) focus on the negative, he (Hudson) will not have a positive outlook in life, rather he will always be looking for the bad in not only life, but people.

Rachel and I have been blessed by our friends and family to have been raised in a godly environment and that is paramount for us to provide to Hudson as well. We have also been blessed by such a diverse group of friends and I believe this will help in raising a well rounded individual who doesn't look at a person as to what they look like on the outside (what they wear, their ethnicity, their smell, how they speak...) but by their character, just like Dr Martin Luther King Jr longed for his children.

I love my life for what it is today, but anticipate the changes we have in the next few weeks, months, and years with an eagerness that I have not felt ever in my life.